dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
