I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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