oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
