I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
