Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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