my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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