this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
