I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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