Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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