Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
