i would punch a child for taco bell
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
