I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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