His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
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