It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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