yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Life is so much better after having sex.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
