I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
