Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
