I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
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