I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
40s are totally the cure
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
