I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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