Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize