You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
