The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
