They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize