The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
