you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
