Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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