she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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