im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
