My underwear smells like fireworks.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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