if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
