Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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