i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
