He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
