If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I feel great
I just peed on a car
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize