haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
