i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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