There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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