I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
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