Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
