never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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