So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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