He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
