Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
