she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
