Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
