So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
