naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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