I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
