i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
