The maid of honor just puked.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
