My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
