listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
