Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Randomize
