Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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