Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
