he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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