You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
even my farts smell like vagina
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
