If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
